TRAVELOGUE 3

The table in Chinua Achebe's room

 Travelogue 3

One of the things I am currently missing is the usual fight with a loved one. Some of us are fighters, great fighters at home. Yes, ask her if you're finding it difficult to understand the meaning of 'fighter'. You can use Google dictionary. And since there is no one to fight with here, I decided to fight with myself. I jogged round the house several times, did few imaginary skippings, carried an unused tyre for some minutes, jumped over it like 15 times, did few pressups my way, and then jogged round again. I  can't really remember when last I had such enough time for exercise (especially after bachelorhood ended, over seven years ago I think). 

I am quite aware of the importance of doing exercises as a writer and especially the mental benefits one stands to gain from it but where is the time? Where is the money? And really, where are the fruits and the food? A quick one, if you are still single, I beg calm down, take your time reasonably, strategize, pray, plan well and be prepared for sacrifices. Being single isn't a crime please. Marriage comes with so much sacrifices and apart from other many causes, I can boldly say that a considerable percentage of some of the children you see on the street  are product of parents who have (even little) but unwilling to pay the sacrifices or those who are 'born irresponsible'. If you can't cater well for yourself now, don't gift the world babies to nurture. 

After like an hour, I did the needful and went to the table. But then, right there, after few hours, I was greatly disturbed again. 'Are we going to continue like this?' The carrots that I used to buy for 50 Naira is now 100 Naira flat. Garri that used to be appetizer in my house is currently the most frequently meal taken for lunch, even in many homes now. Who is more wicked? We or our leaders? Even cold sachet water in some areas is now 20 Naira. Ta gan lase? Who did we offend? 

We are at war and more worrisome is our attitude of moving on as if nothing is happening. How much are you buying fuel per litre now? Did you hear about the recent bandits' raid in zamfara, kaduna and the damages done? Despite being World Water Day, Nigerians still lack access to good water? What happened to the Home Water systems we enjoyed in the early 90s? For how long are Nigerians going to depend on boreholes as part of the constituency projects from these political representatives? Even in most cases, such boreholes stop working almost immediately after commissioning or opening, largely because there is no maintenance structure attached.  Perhaps I should tell you now that neither APC or PDP has disappointed us ever. We constantly disappoint ourselves. Someone is evil in APC and immediately he defected into PDP ( or vice versa), he becomes a new creature, christened good. Kindly show me the river Jordan?

Anyway, if you're yet to get your PVC, you're part of the wicked ones. Voting counts. Registration will start again by 11th April, 2022. Don't just collect it, be prepared to vote, for change. Vote for leaders who will not always travel abroad for medical check-up and not those who wouldn't bother if gates to schools are locked. Meanwhile, thanks for the side attractions and series of theatrical shows in the National Assembly, courts, etc. and music that lure us away from the reality that we are in a big mess. Are we not? At least using coins now we alleviate poverty right?

And talking about music, I just realized that I had been listening to Mercy Chinwo and some other Igbo artistes songs since yesterday. Are you sure this Chinua Achebe's room isn't possessed? I love their music so much. And I'm reminded of my travel experiences in Nsukka, Imo, Anambra, Enugu, Ebonyi, Rivers etc. Is Chinwo really an Igbo woman? Maybe I should start a virtual fight. My wife sometimes cooks Igbo soups she doesn't know their names (only God go save me) and always claims she's an Igbo, born of a Yoruba man (though has an Igbo mother) from Akanran. Egbo, how is that possible? (Since I got Amala and ewedu for 'brunch', you should be convinced I'm not missing home and could say anything to her. Lols.)

This evening, I strolled out. Spent few minutes on the street to interact with my Yoruba people. And worthy of mention is the woman who insisted on 'ordering slap' for her daughter who just finished taking dinner and requesting again for just 20 Naira biscuit. Imagine just 20 Naira biscuit o. I know my wife will do same. But are they not kids? Dem send you work? What again is their business if not eating? And you must agree with me that mothers in this part of the world are way too strict and generous with 'Igbati'. HOW MANY TYPES DO YOU KNOW? It is 'ifoti' that is popular in my family. When I discovered both were serious about their intentions, I came in to maintain mutual understanding between the two parties involved. 'You should just leave her, she thought she is in her school where they hardly beat them', she frankly said. I felt shocked. So there are schools like that here too? I asked. She was silent. I felt perhaps I have crossed the boundary, so I brought out my phone, looking at pictures in the gallery. It is my way of remembering people, events and paths I should be taking. 'She is the only child for now after waiting few years.' she later responded. Oh, really. Yet, I asked myself, is it out of place to maybe slightly give an African child strokes of cane as punishment? I also thought it is only bike men that are this free. How can you give out a vital info cheaply like that! 

Funnily on my way back home, I met a group of Muslim brethren just leaving mosque after the Isha. I did 'salamon' and one of them paused, 'afa, ewa kirun ni?' Confused. Suggest my response if you were in my shoes. 

Enjoy your night. 

I've got some Ogas to beg oo

 Fakunle Busayo Nsi writes from Ebedi International Writers Residency, Iseyin.