Travelogue 5

Some of the snails picked within Ebedi.

 Travelogue 5

Just after leaving here (online) yesterday, I crawled into the bed having spent some hours on the table. The table seems to be my best friend for now and I think that's one of the essence of being here. It hosts few things; the borrowed laptop that now works like a desktop ( You'd better come and help my life o.), my power bank, my Bible and few books, some very expensive packs of carrot, the 'stolen' water-bottle and two tins of milk. Need be I tell you that if I have my way, I could use a tin for four days. I thought they said that thing is from cows abi, why is it that expensive again? Maybe I should also use this opportunity to ask on behalf of a friend, is it true that when you mix water with soft drinks it reduces the sugar content? 

The mattress is very big (just like me you say). It will accommodate at least five people with my kind of statue. It is very soft, and cold too because of the breeze coming from the window where a-not-too tall banana tree provides shade for fresh air. I love the cold breeze. Natural and soothing. 

I fell on the bed the way I used to do 'ten-ten' game in my primary school (St John's around Aremo Ibadan), trusting the two individuals standing at each end will catch me and prevent my buttocks from touching the ground. Great memories. We used to imitate girls then o. I remember that late headmaster. Mr. Fagbenro was my father's friend and they were in the same society in church. Such a kind man, only that he was too disciplined like my dad. No wonder they were good friends. Unlike now that teachers are scared of flogging pupils, Mr. Fagbenro would flog you and ask you to go dry your tears and sweat in the sun. Such a kind teacher right? 

I drew the very soft pillow closer, placed it under my heavy but tiny head and then stretched my leg on the red plastic chair near the bed. I am not even really sure if it is indeed red though. I attended a local public school and unfortunately we hardly did painting so it's hard differentiating colours. Not a good excuse? Let me be then! But then, I can't even explain why I think my head is heavy. All I know is that it is quite a while I subjected it to this kind of exercise that it loves. 

My eyes were glued to the bulb. It is a small white bulb so I could look for a longer period and right there I felt I was looking at the moon. As I dozed off, the promises I made to the kids reoccurred. The funny talks, the childish fights, the struggles to be the first to bathe, the continuous warnings and threatenings not to talk while eating, the funny dance steps, the way they scream when power is restored, their constant calls to come and wash bottoms and especially the arguments with their mother on certain things all walked in my head simultaneously. You can only imagine what it is to have a wife who studied the same course like you. She studied English Education at Lead City University and finished with the highest CGPA in her department I think, just like I did in my undergraduate days. Ask my VERY REAL friends only please, though I'm not sure I have any. Lols.

At some point, I discovered the moon became bigger and I felt perhaps the owner increased the size. I could not tell how that happened really. And since it was none of my business, I adjusted the pillow, changed the position of my head towards my left, moved my legs away from the chair, squeezed them in  V-like shapes and started looking at the vivid shadow of the wooden reading chair, created by the increased moon. 'Wow, this moon is very bright', I said to myself. If my grandfather is alive, he would have loved to tell me stories. It is mind boggling how those grandparents always think you are still a kid even at 30. Like some mothers, mine too would still want to inject tales of how tortoise escaped death etc. during conversations despite your stressful day. 

Get it right, I love folktales, stories especially under moonlit. I love the experience and the lessons they teach but then we can modernize it the more and make it more interesting. I saw one video on a friend's wall about 'Oluronbi' and I loved it so much. In fact, revisiting that would go a long way in helping a morally decayed society like ours. Unfortunately, most private schools would see this as a bad idea. All what most want is for kids to speak good rich fluent English language. Is it a crime to speak fluently in Yoruba language too? When are we going to learn how to speak our mother tongue to ourselves without code mixing or switching? When?   

Suddenly I heard a loud sound. It felt like the way we will pretend to want to tell a friend a secret in the ear and then screamed 'kukuruku'. Do you remember at all?  If not, you should know what it means to scream in a totally empty room/or house. You have never done them? Come live in my area for few days then.

 

Followed by the loud sound were gentle but terrifying ones like the way a lion roars. My eyes became widely opened. The sleep left and the shadow of the chair disappeared all at once. I couldn't see the bigger moon again.  Perhaps the owner kept it this time. But then I discovered the standing fan was now working. So when I looked up,  the bulb beside the white solar bulb had been filled up. Power had been restored. There had never been any moon. My eyes betrayed me. However, my ears didn't.

I knew it would rain after such a heat during the day. Surprising then is that where I come from, IBEDC will take off power when it wants to rain but here (just now), it is the other way round. Is that funny? Funnier is to tell you that I ( a Yoruba man) am staying in Chinua Achebe's room and Chukwudi (an Igbo man) is staying in Abubakar Gimba's room. Life you know! Meanwhile, instead of taking a better position on the bed, I forced myself up to the table again. I didn't want to sleep because I needed to be in a class and also would like to finish up an unfinished task.  I really did enjoy the rain.

It was mildly cold in the morning and I felt taking a hot pap wouldn't be a bad idea. So when Madam C came in, she did justice to our stomachs. Pap is really good. It is not meant only for a sick person. So also 'ewedu'. Check out the usefulness of drinking ewedu, then come back and thank me with cash. Please take me seriously on that. 

Before we took the breakfast, I had done a little exercise. Nooooo! Not like the one I did some days ago. It was a different one and I loved it. I loved it because I had lived/spent a considerable number of years in the village and so it wasn't new. In my family, during Christmas/ 'Ileya', my mother would pack us to Kajola ( a village in Ona Ara local government, Oyo State that shares boundaries with Ogun state) to go meet her father, our grandfather. The journey was always memorable. Still fresh in my memory, but let me save that till some other time. As I opened the front door, I almost stepped on the creature. 

I hung my right leg in the air for seconds and walked with the other. Hurt? Not at all. I am an expert in 'kalankala' ( A game where you suspend one of your legs to walk/jump through boxes created / drawn on the sand/ floor). I didn't even scream. I stopped screaming when I was 10years old thereabouts. It was ' a bad day devil drink water'. And since devil drank the water, I won my fears and had helped many others in winning life's challenges. It is entirely true that the first person who needs help is you then others. You are not being selfish! It is simply called self-care or love. Lack of self-care contributes significantly to suicide. Both physical and mental self-care are important. In other words, you can't help others win their fears when you still live with yours. That day, my family was there to help me. 

It was a new site, an uncompleted building and we were just cutting down the trees there. Everyone was busy doing one or two things. I was busy too. I was filling up the sitting room with sand with one of my elder sisters helping in placing the bowl on my head. It rained cats and dogs the day before so we all seemed to find it easy but I must sincerely tell you that it was stressful. Suddenly, as I moved into the almost levelled-up sitting room, my eyes caught a moving creature on the wall. I moved my eyes very fast like someone cutting or slicing onion, took a step back, stretched out my neck like someone who wants to win a highly competitive race and my back, bent like someone who is about starting out a race. I threw the bowl away the way some children spill out bitter drugs. Among the some is MoriireOluwa, my (current) last born. 'Sugar-sugar' likes to take drugs but not bitter ones like 'flagil'. Unlike MofeireOluwa who anything goes for. 

Since the bowl of sand wasn't on my head again, I screamed and ran for my dear life. But just few steps taken, I noticed someone held my hands and dragged me back. I was contemplating if I should offer a slap or a teeth-bite when dad said, 'why are you running?' I maintained a good posture and called my senses into order if not, I will get an unpaid miraculous knock on the head. Yes, miraculous. I gently pointed at the creature and all what he could do was laugh. 

'Is this what you were running away from? Iya Funmilayo, see your life outside, how can a son of a local man be running from this?' 

As I type now, a part of me is saying perhaps that was part of what got him angry to taking me to a village boarding school, aside that he was teaching there then. 

'This is a snail', he told me in a lowly voice while still held  my hand firmly.'

But it wasn't my fault. I had never seen a bigger one like that. Moreso, the ones I used to see inside my science textbooks were always small in my eyes. How can a snail be as big as a full moon.

So what I did was to step aside, picked the snail away from the entrance of the main door and started the exercise. Of course, snail hunting. It was really a fun-filled exercise, only in Ebedi anyway. Lols.

And like seriously, I know this is a good business (another source of income for some) one can venture into. Selling starts from probably 200 Naira and could go as high as 300/350 Naira in dry season. 

Do you also know who doesn't like snails? One of the Ghanaians here is. Maybe they are unaware of the numerous benefits. When I'm not a bastard, 'awa lomo ajegbin yo, omo jegbin jekarahun forimu'. What are you waiting for? Interpretation ko, translation ni. ( Enu kole pami).

Anyway, I have started snail rearing and if you care, we deliver across Africa. 

Enjoy your evening.

Busayo Fakunle Nsi  writes from Ebedi International Writers Residency, Iseyin Oyo State.